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    Why breakups are so hard and how to cope with them

    Most people will experience feelings of deep loss and distress after a long-term relationship breakup. from www.shutterstock.com Gery Karantzas, Deakin University Despite populist writings that love lasts forever, the divorce statistics across various countries tell us that anywhere between one in 25 to two in three marriages end. If these statistics were to take into account the number of nonmarital long-term relationships that end, then the statistics would be much higher. Most of us experience a relationship breakup at some point in our lives. For some of us, the experience may be most profound when we lose our first love. This is largely because our first loves are our first…

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    Have you found ‘the one’? How mindsets about destiny affect our romantic relationships

    Ditch the ‘destiny’ mindset – a ‘relationship growth’ one is likely to deliver better romantic partnerships. Laura Ockel Gery Karantzas, Deakin University If you listen to any number of love songs, dating “experts”, or plunge head first into a romance novel, you’re likely to think it’s in our destiny to find that special someone – your soul-mate. But how do you know if you’ve found “the one”? Will the birds sing? Will you see fireworks or a shooting star? And for those who are yet to find “the one”, should you keep searching, or is it a misguided quest? Research into the science of relationships spanning the last two decades shows…

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    Love lockdown: the pandemic has put pressure on many relationships, but here’s how to tell if yours will survive

    Soroush Karimi/Unsplash Gery Karantzas, Deakin University Life in lockdown has been tough on many relationships. But negotiating the transition back to “normal” as restrictions continue to lift could also be a challenge for couples. So what are some of the key factors that affect how relationships fare during such times? To answer this, I’m going to draw on an important model in relationship science called the vulnerability stress adaptation model. 3 important factors As its name suggests, the model proposes three broad factors that affect relationship outcomes: vulnerabilities, stressors and adaptions. Vulnerabilities are any kind of factor that makes it harder for a person to maintain enduring and satisfying relationships.…